The good and the not so good

Well first off I haven't posted in a while. I haven't forgotten, I just haven't had anything to share. Also life has been really crazy lately. Which is what I want to talk about l. Life is made up a bunch of crazy happenings, some are amazing, some are indifferent, and some are not so hot. There are times when you have no motivation or you are sick or you've just plain had a rough day. I get it. It happens. But life is beautiful chaos. (I love those words out together). Life sucks. get up. I know it's not that easy though. There are days when the little voice in the back of your head or even the voice if others tell you you can't do it. But you know what, you can. Life is not always good. Some days literally everything will not go your way. Some days you will feel sick. Some days you will think there is no hope. But you know what, there is. I struggle with that. I get wrapped up in my own head and start panicking. Or feel negativity creeping in. But I have  people around me and my own mental strength and some how I always pull through. So basically what I am trying to say. Life will suck. People will suck. Everything will suck. But hey life is beautiful chaos. It'll get better and life will go on. You just have to trust that it will get better. And if you can't see it just know that I believe in you. 

It's all about perspective!

Perspective is a funny thing! Think of the world from the perspective of an ant and think of the perspective of a skyscraper. Very different views of the same world! It's amazing! And the great thing about perspective is you can always change it. If you don't like something look at it from a different perspective. For me the hardest thing is to not compare everything to the past. Last year, albeit difficult, was a great year. I had many successes and learned a lot of lessons. So going into this year I find myself saying well last year.... The thing is last year is in the past. And in order to make this year even better I have to let last year go and push harder to make this year even better! I can't expect anything to change for the better if I don't change my perspective. I'm going to try harder to pave my own way thing year! 

I will never be able to succeed if I base my own level of success on others. Today I ran two miles, if I look at a marathon runner my two miles looks like nothing. It's not a fair comparison! In order to get better I have to compete with myself rather than other people. My own success should not be based on other people. If my goal is to be first place then I will do what I need to get there and nothing more. But, if I am trying to beat myself then "the limit does not exist" (mean girls. Sorry I had to). Last year I entered the vet science contest wanting to put up the best scores I could and hopefully place top ten in the process. I won the state contest. Most importantly I was PROUD of my scores. This year I was sceptical if I wanted to even compete in the contest I loved so much. Why? Because I didn't think I would get first again. Dumb reason right? It's not about the snazzy plaque or the bragging rights. It's about competing with myself. My goal shouldn't be to place first. It should be to beat my pretty great scores from last year! Change of perspective can do wonders. 

~if you don't like where you are, change your perspective~

Words to live by. Pretty #deep (reference to my ap English class).

Let's make a sandwich

 My best memories are with the Buhler FFA. I could go on for hours about my love and passion for the organization. It has let me grow from a shy quiet freshman to a confident leader who will be running for a state office in spring. It's truly amazing! This love has lead to me becoming an officer. I have served at Vice President and Secretary. In that order. That was easily the hardest thing I have gone through. It destroyed me for a dew days. But I've come to realize that titles don't mean anything. Just because I don't get "president" on my jacket does not mean I can't be an above and beyond leader. The name "President" does not mean anything to me. Regardless of a title it's my job to do absolutely everything in my power to make out chapter great.

Anyway, yesterday was our annual January Game night! As an officer our big activities are always a little stressful. You have the meal, the activities, everything! And you want it to be just right! Unfortunately that doesn't always happen and some minor problem solving has to take place. But that's okay, that's why being a leader is about! Usually during our bigger activities we have most if not all of the officers there, well yesterday we had a whole two officers. It made a normally slightly stressful situation a little more difficult, which is okay! The hardwork I put in is a labor of love. After all was said and done I was exhausted! Many people don't understand how truly exhausting preparing for these activities really is!! But the smiles, the hey Bailey's, and the what can I do to help's make all of it worth it. The impact on the members makes every ounce of energy and stress all worth it! I love working my butt of for the FFA members!! If it makes a difference for just one person, it's worth it. I love the FFA and the kids in it. So much. 

This was the product of my leadership activity. They had a sandwich maker and the rest of the team have instructions on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Here's the catch, the sandwich maker was to take everything literally! It made for some interesting sandwiches!! The group of kids in our FFA never cease to amazing. It is truly so wonderful.

"you're kinda fun"

You only live once so live it up! Life is made up of a million moments and while some of them aren't so hot some of them are truly memorable. Sometimes you just need to have fun. Eat a little too much sugar and wonder around Dillons. That's what I did today, with some company. I acted strange, said everything that came to mind (the word of the night was bubbles), and even "swam" on the floor in the cat food isle! I was crazy! I laughed so hard I cried and had so much fun! It's not the big huge vacations and the fancy things that cost money that make fun really fun. It's taking advantage of every opportunity and making it fun! What started as a routine visit to subway ended as a really fun night! Why? Not because we had spent lots of money or had a "itinerary" but because we chose to make the moment fun! We can complain about that math assignment or we could make the best of it! That's pretty much what life is, making the best of every situation! Being happy! Enjoying life!! I know not everyday will be great, but we can at least try to make a bad day a little better! 

Remember when I said I had company when adventuring in Dillons? Well as you can imagine, I was thoroughly embarrassing. I mean they had to pick me up off the floor not once buy twice! Yikes! I'm a nightmare!! But you know what, they were so patient with me. They went along with it, cracked some jokes and had a good time too. Ending the evening with a "you're kinda fun" in reference to the title! It's true friends, like that, that are so amazing to have and cherish! So basically what I am saying is, cherish good friends and thank them! And patience is a virtue, and if at all possible, learn it. I have been working on that, and have come a long way. I still have a long way to go though. 

Basically, HAVE FUN, embrace every moment, cherish (I like that word) good friends, and remember to be patient (Because at some point someone has been patient with you). Today was a pretty great day. 

Motivation, believing in yourself, and other sorta related topics

So I love running. But sometimes my running is just a little off. Let me elaborate. Some days I get really wrapped up in my running and just run and before I know it I've reached my goal! And there are others days when I just can't seem to get into it. I find myself struggling, huffing and puffing, after just 1 mile when the day before I ran 3 miles with relative ease. I don't understand why it happens but I have learned you have to get motivated and push through. Today was one of those days when running was a struggle. I only made it 2 miles before I accepted defeated and started walking. But then I realized, I wasn't ever going to get any better if I quit running everytime it got hard. So I knew that had to start running again and finish my 5k running. When I got to 3.1 miles I was still mad at myself for quitting so I decided to make up the distance I walked. And even after I made up the distance I kept going because my favorite song was on and I was in the zone. It turns out I surpassed my goal. What started as just an average day running turned into an awesome lesson. 

I've heard a thousand times "don't give up"! But in that moment i just wanted to quit. This happens all the time. Math is hard, quit. A book report is hard, quit. There are so many opportunities to quit it's insane!! But you know what. I'm not going to quit. Next time I step on that treadmill I'm going to reach my goal, without stopping along the way, because I know I can do it. That brings me to my second lesson and something I really need to work on. Believing in myself. I doubted my ability to make it to 3.1 miles. But I proved to myself I could do it. Instead of holding myself back to prevent failure, I need to go out on a limb and take a chance. So many times I've lost opportunities because I was scared I would fail. That's no way to live. So I challenge myself to take more chances and trust myself. Becuause I know I can do it. But sometimes it just takes a little motivation. Maybe you'll make a deal with yourself. Like if you run 2 miles you can have that peice of candy. Or maybe someone else makes a deal with you like if you run I will bring you a sprite tomorrow (*wink wink). Or maybe it's just a really awesome person that wants the best for you. Those are the best kind of people. The ones that believe in you and encourage you to be the best that you can be. So to all the motivators in the world: thank you. You make this world a better place. 

It's kinda really neat that little lessons in life can be found in the most unexpected places and times. That's my little treasure for the day. And I thinks it's pretty sweet.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

The trails and tribulations of being a night owl...

Well, it is 2015. A big year. And every year it is tradition to have New Years Resolutions. How many actually become more than a resolution, I don't know but it is definitely worth setting. So here are mine: on the internet for the world to read. Every year I set 4 resolutions. Each falls into a category I totally made up all on my own just for fun.

The first category is what I like to call the "ME" category. Original, right? In this category is something I want to change about me. For most it would be lose weight or have perfect eyebrows because I'm sure that's a thing. When we say lose weight you will most likely fail to have a totally perfect bikini body within the first two weeks of ever stepping on a treadmill and quit. So I'm not going to say lose weight. I'm ditching the clique "lose weight" and replacing it with be happy with who I am. Maybe that means shedding a few pounds, maybe it means running (which I actually enjoy) and getting in better shape, or maybe still, it means forgetting the number on a scale and loving the me I am right now. I'm not sure which one will happen, but I do know that I'm not giving up. I have spent so long not liking what I saw in the mirror and all that stops now. This year, I am going to learn to see the beauty that others see.

The second category is the habit category. This is some habit I have that I want to change. Last year this one was "get organized" and GUESS WHAT! I did it! I used an agenda and folders and sticky notes and endless whiteboards and now I can say I am organized! So this year, I want to cut out the procrastination! I am a world class procrastinator. I don't even want to think about all the hours and days I have wasted just laying on the floor counting my ceiling fan blades because that changes oh so often. So this year I'm going to work on buckling down and getting it done. I know that is going to be a valuable skill going into college, like real soon.

The third category is the mental category. This is something inside I want to work on. And THIS BLOG and all it's ramblings is how I am going to do it! I have always been a closed person. I have struggled a lot with opening up about feelings and emotions. And even when I try to open up I struggle with putting my thoughts into words. But I have found that it is a lot easier for me to out my thoughts into words on paper. So that lead to the creating of this blog. I want to work on letting emotions out instead of bottling them up in hopes of decreasing a little stress in my hectic life. So this blog is my third resolution.

And finally the totally random off the wall there is no way you can measure that category. My favorite! My final resolution is to LIVE LIFE WITH PASSION. Serious. We get so caught up in life that we forget that we are suppose to enjoy it! Passion is probably my favorite word in the whole entire world. I can describe everything I love with that word. Passion. So this year I want to enjoy the little things, grab onto the big things, devote myself to others, and remember to smile because life is a ride and before you know it it's over. There is no way for me to check this off my list at the end of the year (because I love lists) but each and every day I can do something to spread a little love in the world. So that's is what I strive to do. One thing everyday. Who knows what it will be. That's the beauty of it.

So there they are. Spelled out to the best of my abilities. Watch out 2015 because here I come.